Benelux or Bust

For my 2 week break we decided to rent a car and take a tour of Benelux. What? I never heard of this country... This is what Europeans call the three countries of Belgium, Netherlands, and Luxembourg - since these guys had formed their own trade zone before even the EU formed. I hadn't realized how culturally similar these guys were. We started with Luxembourg - the city - not the country, no wait, they appear to be the same thing from the road signs. In fact, what little directions we were able to get had to be thrown out the window as the road into Luxembourg was closed and we had to go into Belgium to get there. Once again the European "direction" system leaves us lost and driving in ever shrinking circles towards the Royale Hotel and Liberation Square. Maybe we should have given up and parked, because soon we are bumping along cobbles, dodging tables and chairs, as pedestrians swirl around us reading menus at the outdoor cafes, looking in our car windows like we're some kind of goldfish. Do we panic? Well, a little. But there's a car parked over there, we're not in a total pedestrian area. Still, I feel like I've accidentally driven into a parade route. Finally, forward progress stops, I get out and ask waiters if they know where the Royale Hotel is in Liberation square. Nobody know, but I know we're close because this IS Liberation Square, dang it! Aha! "Royale Café." They'll know. And they do! Why of course it's just upstairs from the restaurant. How were we supposed to find that? Now we can slink down an alley to a parking garage and return on foot like ordinary people.

I think people visit Luxembourg (city?/nation?) just to add one more country to their travel resume. It is a beautiful, albeit small capital where we could sit at a table under the trees in Liberation Square and listen to the Luxembourg army brass band play lively tunes. Perhaps this is the whole Luxembourg army? We don't know. Luxembourg is pretty small. Maybe the best thing for a country this small is to have their army just consist of a welcoming brass band. "Thank you for invading! Try our beer!"



We'd feel a little guilty if all we saw of Luxembourg was the cute capital, so we drove the entire length and breadth of the country. It took half an hour. No, just kidding. There was more than that and we did visit a very nicely restored castle that had belonged to William of Orange and had been a seat of power when European countries and rulers were changing hands faster than a game of 3 card monty. In France one of the cute things is the signs when you enter a city and the sign when you exit a city. The exit sign has a big red slash through it and I can't help but think "No Rheims" (or whatever city) when I see one of them. In Luxembourg every one of these signs is a double sign - you are leaving one place AND entering the next. You are never nowhere in Luxembourg.

Our next stop was Amsterdam and Rotterdam and all the "dam" cities in between as there doesn't appear to be a choice of freeways in Holland. But one nice thing about these Benelux roads is that gas is cheaper and there are no tollbooths! Whoo Hoo!

Amsterdam is known for its red-light district, its legalized recreational substances, and its sublime museums (which is what we came for of course). Unfortunately, the flagship Reichmuseum is undergoing major renovations and only a fraction of the collection is on display, so we had to spend more time visiting the other, ahem, sights.



One thing that amused me was how the drug culture changed with legalization. Instead of some guy whispering "this is good stuff, man." You have actual information. In fact, information overload! On a display of psychedelic mushrooms, each species is accompanied by colorful charts and graphs sure to satisfy any stat-starved techno-weenie. Like at a wine shop, the clerks recommend personal favorites, seasonal specials, and even give tips on food pairing!

What if we tried, you know, our favorite activity while under the influence of some of Amsterdam's famous, um, you know... tulips? Well, we are not ones to shrink from new experiences! After spending some time at one of the "coffee shops", we came out, crossed the street, and then right in front of everyone we did it... We ordered the empanadas. They were absolutely heavenly! We hadn't tasted their like since José's in Palo Alto closed. But, are these really that good, or could it be the, ah, tulip influence? Like a lot of things in Amsterdam, it can be hard to get an accurate account of what happened afterwards.

We headed back south to Belgium. I had once dated a Belgian girl who spoke English, French, Dutch, and her native Flemish. Wow, I was impressed. I didn't know Flemish is to Dutch, in the words of our hostess in Antwerp, "like UK English is to US English." What? That similar? So that ex-girlfriend was inflating her resume! Heck, I should have told her I can speak American, British, Australian, and a smattering of Canadian eh?

Personally, I think the Belgians are quietly trying to take over the world one specialty at a time. They claim to have invented the french fry - doubtful, but they are so passionate about fries that everyone just said "Fine. You are so small and cute. Have the fry title, nobody cares!!" Well now that they've convinced everyone to let them have the french fry title, they've moved on... They now claim they have the best chocolate, waffles, craft beer, mussels, cell phone coverage, etc. etc. I read the #1 vendor of carpet in the world is not Iran, but... Belgium! I think their plan is working! The southern French-speaking Belgians are even called Walloons. How serious a threat can they be? I mean, if you shouted "Look out! It's a Walloon invasion!" people would laugh and look for something funny like a clown car. Well, laugh now monkey-boy, but we'll all soon be servants of the Walloons...



Our final stop was Strasbourg which is not in Benelux, but we wanted to visit while we were in the area. It's in France, but it's really different from the rest of France because it has frequently changed hands between France and Germany. It's kind of a best-of-both-cultures place. I can see why our French and German friends said it was worth a visit, but of course they wouldn't want to live there because the culture is so strange. Well to us both French and German cultures are foreign so this didn't bother us at all. We thoroughly enjoyed the blend. Sausage crepe? Why not? Tastes great with mustard. Mmmmm.