Transitions

It's been a while since we've written anything here I know. We moved back to California on April 1st, and both of us have been in a constant state of "just making it." The transition has been difficult for us. Dave has faired better than me because he has his work to focus on and that stabilizes him. My time has been taken searching for a new home to move into, and handling all the little things that need handling during a huge transition like moving and settling down in another country. For me it has felt a bit like thankless work and so I have often fallen into a nostalgic sadness, wishing I could be back in beautiful Lyon.

But good things have happened and I am starting to see the fruits of my labor. Dave told me today that on a scale from 1-10 these days life is feeling like a 9 again, "thanks to all your hard work, Monica." I'm so glad he is feeling so happy, and that made me feel really good. I've also noticed how much I am melting back into the things I love about living in California. I love the sunshine. I love my morning coffees with my wonderful friends. And I love the fact that two people I care very much about threw me a birthday party, so that I didn't need to arrange that myself while I am going through this transition. I felt so taken care of. And oh yes, I absolutlely love being with family again. How I missed that!!! All that wonderful love :)

A friend of mine recently asked me if I miss Lyon. My answer was definitively yes, but I also explained that the truth is I just wish we had had a chance to stay until I felt "done." I don't think I would have wanted to live there forever. France has it's positives and negatives, just like the US does. But I wish the dream hadn't been taken away from me. If we had been able to stay a few years, I probably would have been ready to come home, and probably would have rejoiced at returning to my home. Since it didn't happen that way, I feel incomplete, and long for that feeling of completion.

And so I have moved full swing into reintegrating into life in the US, realizing that there will be many times when I ache to be back in France. But those relapses are happening less frequently these days, and I find that I am loving California more and more. Yeah!!! :)

Life is fascinating, isn't it? The adventures we have in our lives, teach us so much about who we are. Even though this transition has been hard for me, I am loving watching myself deal with it all. Sometimes I feel like a fly on the wall watching my own life. Dave and I have grown so much together through all of this. I am looking forward with excitement to what the next days, weeks, and months will bring.