Passion

What is this passion I feel? It's completely inexplicable. Dave and I just got back from an amazing vacation to Northern Europe, but I was so excited to get back to France. Our last destination was Strasbourgh, which is in France, and I just melted into a blissful calm as soon as we got there. I don't really understand it. In the US, I dread going home. But here, I couldn't wait to get back to our beautiful apartment in Lyon. As we were driving through Lyon I couldn't stop staring at how beautiful this city is. And as soon as I walked into our gorgeous little place I melted. It's so cute and inviting. I didn't want to even go out to dinner. I cooked in! Which, for those of you who know me you know, that is a huge deal.

I can't help but wonder what it is about France that does this to me. It's kinda like being in love, with someone who you know you can't be with forever. It's irrational, but full of passion and joy and a desire to be with that person (La France) every moment of every day. I can't explain it, and yet I feel it so deeply. I actually had a discussion with Thea, my mother-in-law, about it. How is it that I can feel so strongly about a place where I don't belong? Why do I feel so happy here? Why am I so drawn in? It's inexplicable, but it's definitely there. I think I could live here forever.

This last weekend, in Brussels, at a Bed and Breakfast we were staying at, I met a woman at the breakfast table. It turned out that she grew up in Napa, just like me! And she went to college in San Francisco. We couldn't stop talking. It was great. It turns out that she came to Paris to take a year break from school, and she never went back. She's now been in Paris for 8 years. I've heard similar stories so many times. I happened to meet another person who came to Paris for a year on a project with her husband, and has now been in France for 35 years!!! What is the seduction of France? I have to admit, I wish desperately that my life would allow me to stay here, but Dave wants to go home, and my passion for him is deeper than my passion for France. But I will miss this place. I missed it while I was on vacation. I feel sad every time I think about leaving. I can only hope that one day La France and I will be reunited again somehow.